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  • Writer's pictureTy Montgomery

Watching my son go to the Father: How I'm learning dependency from watching my son

Updated: Mar 6

Ty Montgomery II holding son on shoulders, son has fits in air in excitement and a big smile

Last week, my son asked me a difficult question. He asked me if I was going back to work to play ball, which inevitably is a few states away from him. Then, he asked me not to.

Fast forward a couple of days when his mom called me to let me know that on their way to church on Sunday, he asked to go to big church. Stone knows that in adult church, there are prayer partners waiting to pray with those who want to. And this Sunday, he approached one asking for prayer. His mom shared with me that he asked the leader to join him in praying to God to keep me home with him. 

When his mom told me this, I was filled with several emotions. I had already been considering what my future looked like in this next season – before he mentioned it to me. I’m considering and praying into what God has for me, and how it’s going to affect my family. I’ve seen my son live so resiliently and with patience for me through long football seasons. But if I’m honest, so often my version of thinking through what’s next for me can rely on my own strength.

From networking to strategizing, it’s a natural inclination to lean into my own strength as I plan out this next year. And while I know God is leading me to be intentional with where I’m going, hearing this response from my son shook me. It shook me because his first response was to go to God. 

When he had a concern he didn’t turn to controlling it himself. 

He didn’t lash out.

He didn’t scheme or plan.

He talked to his earthly father. 

And he prayed to his heavenly father.

I was stunned as I considered his childlike faith. 

From networking to strategizing, it’s a natural inclination to lean into my own strength as I plan out this next year.

This made me think of Matthew 18:2-4,

“At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: ‘Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven…’ “

Read that again….”Unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” In this passage, Jesus goes on to talk about taking a lowly position as that of a child. It's something like a dependent position.

It seems like being a child creates an understanding that you need your father to meet your needs. And this understanding doesn’t compel us to grow stronger on our own, but reminds us to keep going back to our God. For some reason, we tend to grow out of this understanding somewhere along the way. At some point, we start believing that our needs can be met by ourselves, that we can sort it all out on our own, and that self-dependence is the safer route. I don’t know if it’s because over time people let us down, and leave wounds on our hearts. Or if it’s because self-reliance is less vulnerable than trusting God with our desires. But childlike dependency is what makes way for us to see God, to know Him, and to enter the kingdom. 

I’m going to continue walking this journey with my son. I pray he can maintain the kind of trust he has right now in God, and if he does I’ll be at so much peace for his future ahead. I will do everything in my power to care and love for my son, but the peace I have for his life outweighs anything I could ever do for him because my peace for him comes from knowing our heavenly father is covering him every step. 

And I’m learning from his dependency as I work to depend on our father. 

Are there areas in your life that you struggle with control? If you have children, what is something your child has taught you? Let me know in the comments.

Live love,


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1 Comment

Mar 04

Ty, this resonated with me because as a military father, I've had to face this same discussion and decision multiple times.

I appreciate your insight and reminder that we have to relinquish control of the outcome and rely on our heavenly Father for guidance, instruction, and comfort. Thanks!

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